i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
