I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
