Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I queefed so loud it echoed.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
is that a dick in a sweater?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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