i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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