The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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