Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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