i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My life is pants optional.
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