My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
