We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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