hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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