My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
