There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
