you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
