ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize