is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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