why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
youre lurking in front of me
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
