It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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