dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
