hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
