They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
