Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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