Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
