What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize