Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
