Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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