Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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