she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
