I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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