never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
