She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
