Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
