toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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