We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
