...so i touched it.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
