...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
im holly from the hills drunk
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
