Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
