you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My bed smells like the plague
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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