the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just gift wrapped bread.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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