His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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