Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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