Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
