Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
