The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize