he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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