In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
