Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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