I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
