Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
