I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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