I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
