the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
