I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
