Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
