It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize
