Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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