so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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