NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
