It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
