Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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