Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
